I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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