Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
