Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
