If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
