I wanna bring you to show and tell
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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