I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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