i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
