It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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