Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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