No, drunk sperm still make babies.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
