I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I think a kid would responsible me up
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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