she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
