hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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