remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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