Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
