Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
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It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
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Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?