WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
