Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
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I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.