tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
