perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
