I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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