just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize