He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
