She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize