just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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