problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i would punch a child for taco bell
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
