Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
