I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
