why didn't you poke me back
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We are all done wearing pants today
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
