how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
