You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
