The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
