I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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