I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
