ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
