That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
