How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
