This girl is more easily done than said...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
