I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
