you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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