I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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