why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
