I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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