I hate all girls vehemently.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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