hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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