I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
