There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
