hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
