arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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