i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
