The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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