I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
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