i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
