My pussy is not your playground.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
