They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
