There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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