I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
