Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
