I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
