Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
